I am alive…


It has been a while since I have blogged… 8 months to be exact. Alot has happened. ALOT! I feel like I am not even the same person I was 8 months ago. In November I broke off my “engagement”. I knew it needed to happen a while before I did it. I decided I kept holding on for things to change, for him to change, because I was getting old and afraid it would be my last chance. That is truly the most stupid thought to ever have. My coworker, the day after I broke off that relationship, told me she had a guy she thought I should start talking to. I told her I would not meet a guy for a month but I would be okay talking to one. I needed a month to be free and single. Apparently a lot of people thought I should break off that relationship because 4 people gave my phone number away. Only one kept my attention. And I am so glad he kept talking to me when he found out after a week of talking that I was just out of a “semi-serious” relationship. And, a month and a day after being single and talking to him for HOURS on the phone every day and hundreds of daily text messages I finally decided to meet him. He has totally captured my heart. He has taught me that I deserve to be happy and deserve to be spoiled, and deserve to be treated like a lady. I feel like I am slowly regaining my confidence. It has been a long time coming and although I still have a ways to go, it is so nice to have the love and support of an amazing guy. I can not wait for my family to meet him.

I just wish I was strong enough to realize my worth a while ago. I think I just feel damaged and worthless sometimes. I struggle with those negative thoughts quite frequently and I hate it. I am better then I was but I have work to do…

Author: laurasznn

I am a conservative, slightly old-fashioned crazy girl. I love to read, write, sew, scrapbook, cook, bake, do crafts, enjoy nature, take my car off-roading, ride my bike, and just stay busy. I sometimes say I want a lazy day BUT I hate not having anything to do which means I frequently stretch myself too thin. I am the Life Enrichment Director at an assisted living facility. I love being around the elderly population. They are such amazing people who have so much to offer and teach. I also love the little guys too... I love being around kids, especially my nieces and nephews! In December of 2019 I was diagnosed with a Chiari Malformation that quite literally may have been a life changing diagnosis. I went from feeling like I was crazy. To maybe having answers.

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